


El Mayarah

by JeyneWesterling



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It, Grief mentions, Secret Identity, Two Person Love Triangle, communication issues, i'll add tags as i go probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-11-07 21:31:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11067534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeyneWesterling/pseuds/JeyneWesterling
Summary: Kara Danvers saved the world and got the guy, but now she and James must work out how to navigate their new relationship amidst life changes for the both of them.Karolsen fix-it for S2. End of 2x01 through to 2x15.





	1. Prologue

She finds him on the balcony, almost as though he’s been waiting there for her. He looks younger, somehow, and smaller; more Jimmy than James. Strangely enough it’s what spurs her forward. The idea that he’s just as scared as she is.  
  
“You know what’s funny is… on Krypton, by my age? I’d be a spinster.”  
  
She’s thought about it a lot, actually. If things hadn’t happened the way they did, if she’d grown up on Krypton; would she be more mature now? Less unsure of herself? She remembers telling Alex about Kryptonian marriage customs, once. Her sister had thought the idea absurd: _how could someone be ready for marriage so young?_ But she doesn’t feel any more ready now, not for any of this. Earth has always been like that for her; she stumbled onto a strange planet and never quite found her footing.  
  
“I know it seems like I should have everything figured out by now, but I don’t.”  
  
She moves to stand next to him. Sighs.  
  
“You were right, James. Something has changed for me.” She hesitates, unsure how to get out what she needs to say.  
  
He looks resigned. “Kara, look, it’s ok. If you don’t feel that way about me any more-“  
  
“No!” She makes to reach for him, but hesitates and folds her hands together instead. “James. The way I feel about you has not changed.”  
  
He raises a brow. “But?”  
  
She thinks of backtracking and denying it, but catches his look and sighs again. “But something’s holding me back.”  
  
He nods, silently waiting for her to continue. She forces herself to hold eye contact.  
  
“The truth is… I’m scared.” The words come out scarcely above a whisper. She clears her throat. “I just feel like everything’s changing so fast, you know? I’m starting this new career and new life, figuring out how to be _Kara_ , and I have to balance that with being Supergirl, and. And I don’t know where that leaves us.”  
  
Watching for his reaction, she’s sure that even without her powers she would have noticed the way he fights to keep his breathing steady, his voice clear when he asks, “So what are you saying? You want to go back to just friends?”  
  
It would be the easiest thing. A year ago, meek assistant Kara Danvers would probably have taken the out. But she’s not that Kara anymore, and James has always been worth fighting for.  
  
“I…no. If there’s anything I’ve learned this past year, it’s that I can’t let fear control me. It’s like Cat says- I should dive.”  
  
He looks as confused as she had been, “which means what, exactly?”  
  
“It means…Supergirl’s taken a lot of risks, and now it’s time for Kara to do the same. And this- us-“ she takes a step towards him, “that’s a risk I want to take.”  
  
He matches her movement, relief colouring his features. “I’m really glad you feel that way.” Another step closer, “You know… I’m scared too.”  
  
“What do you have to be scared of?” She does reach for him now, planting her hands on his chest.  
  
He shrugs, and she feels the movement. Feels the heightened thrum of his heartbeat that’s been filtering into her super hearing throughout their conversation. “That I won’t be enough for you. For Kara Danvers… and for Supergirl.”  
  
She finds herself frowning, shaking her head as her hands slide up to his shoulders. “How could you _ever_ not be enough for me?” Her voice has gone soft, almost reverent.  
  
Then she leans in and kisses him, and he kisses her back, and it’s the feeling of safety she’s been waiting for. Just them, together, with no interruptions. A languid warmth seeps through her veins; she hums contentedly against his lips and curls her fingers into his shirt. He responds by slipping an arm around her waist, his other hand resting on the small of her back.  
  
They’re both smiling when they (reluctantly) pull away.  
  
“So how about that date?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'll try to update this fairly regularly, I'm not always the fastest writer but I'm a few chapters ahead so hopefully that should help me stagger chapters a bit.
> 
> Just to be clear, each chapter coincides with an episode. So the prologue is the end of 2x01, chapter 1 will be 2x02 etc. and there'll be an epilogue at the end.
> 
> Since this is a rewrite of the season, some dialogue throughout the fic is taken from the show. As a disclaimer, I don't own any of the dialogue/show/characters.
> 
> Kudos/comments always appreciated!


	2. One

  
Kara wakes on the couch, to the sounds of the kettle whistling and James humming to himself. He’s tucked a blanket over her even though she doesn’t need the heat and he’s making _breakfast_.  
  
She smiles sleepily, “hi.”  
  
“Hey,” James grins back at her from the kitchen, “you hungry?”  
  
“Do you have to ask?” She stretches and pads over to him, planting a kiss on his cheek. He responds by curling an arm around her and chuckles.  
  
She could get used to this, she thinks, as she leans into his touch and pauses for a moment to take it all in. The inviting scent of cooking pancakes and the soft glow of sunlight filtering through the window, filling her with steady strength. And James; the warmth and solidness of him, right here beside her. It’s more than she ever thought she could have.  
  
James pulls away to serve the pancakes, taking a sip of tea as he hands Kara a generous serving. Which she digs into immediately, of course. Before he can put his mug down, she relinquishes it from him (one benefit of being a superhero: quick reflexes) and steals a sip.  
  
He only shakes his head in fond exasperation, “you know your coffee’s in the pot, right?”, and goes to pour her a mug.  
  
“Thank you,” she smiles, and returns to her food.  
  
She sneaks glances at him as they eat, wanting to savour him, still not entirely believing he won’t disappear at any second. It all feels very teenage, but she honestly can’t bring herself to care. Not even when he catches her looking and looks just a _little_ bit smug about it. It’s a good look on him, anyway.  
  
They’re interrupted by her phone bleeping.  
  
It’s Alex: there’s a fire that needs putting out. Superman will meet her on the scene.  
  
She shrugs at James, half exasperated at the interruption but equally excited by the perpetual rush of getting to work with Clark. “Duty calls.”  
  
He nods in understanding and leans in to give her a kiss goodbye.  
  
(If she grins uncontrollably the whole flight there? Well. Who can blame her?)  
  
….  
  
“Kara!” James catches up to her and Clark as they’re leaving the DEO, the effects of the Kryptonite mostly worn off, “Clark!”  
  
His eyes dart somewhat wildly between the two of them, looking only slightly appeased when he concludes that neither of them are showing any immediate signs of dying from exposure. “Alex said- Kryptonite?”  
  
“I’m fine,” Kara reassures him, “We’re both fine.”  
  
He still looks skeptical.  
  
“I’m _fine_ ,” she insists.  
  
James twists his mouth, “where did it even come from?”  
  
Clark looks ready to start another rant, so she jumps in quickly.  
  
“Let’s not get into it right now. I’m going home to get some rest.” To James: “I’ll see you tomorrow”. She presses a quick kiss against the corner of his mouth before flying away.  
  
Clark hangs back a moment longer. “While you’re here- I was gonna tell you I’m heading back to Metropolis soon. But looks like that’ll have to wait.”  
  
James nods, some of the tension beginning to seep from his shoulders, “so does that mean you have time to grab lunch before you go?”  
  
Clark grins, “even superheroes need to eat.”  
  
“Trust me. I know.”  
   
  
….  
  
  
When he arrives at Noonan’s, James immediately scans the room, knowing from experience that supers almost always arrive first. Sure enough, Clark is waiting for him at a table.  
  
He’s already ordered, and his greeting is muffled by a mouthful of food. James shakes his head. “You’re as bad as your cousin,” he says, the corners of his mouth twitching at the thought of Kara.  
  
Clark notices. “You two are doing good?”  
  
“Yeah.” He fights to tamper down a full blown grin now, “yeah, we are.”  
  
“Good,” Clark smiles.  
  
They lapse into a comfortable silence, punctuated with occasional fragments of conversation. It’s easy, for a while, but when James’ food arrives he finds himself picking at it without much appetite.  
  
It’s a moment before Clark notices, engrossed in his own food as he is. “Everything ok?”  
  
“Yeah, I just,” he clears his throat, “I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”  
  
Clark, to his credit, actually pauses with his fork halfway to his mouth. Apparently he notices James’ seriousness.  
  
James swallows. “Cat’s taking a leave of absence,” he blurts.  
  
“Oh?”  
  
“Yeah, I guess she wanted a change, or something.”  
  
“Does Kara know?” Clark’s aware of the mentor relationship Kara has with Cat Grant.  
  
“Not yet. It’s not really public knowledge yet, but. She actually… she asked me to take her place. While she’s gone.”  
  
Clark raises his eyebrows, “that’s great, congrats!”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“Look at you all successful. You’ve come a long way since I met you, Jimmy.”  
  
He tries not to flinch at the nickname he’s tried to outgrow. Clark doesn’t mean to make him uncomfortable, of course. It’s just that some things tend to stick.  
  
Clark studies his face. “You’re gonna take it, right?”  
  
He fidgets. “I don’t know.”  
  
“Why wouldn’t you?” Clark asks, setting his fork down entirely. “Don’t you want it? It’s a big opportunity.”  
  
“It’s not so much whether I want it as… whether I’m right for it, I guess.”  
  
“Who better? You’re talented, you’re experienced. You’ve worked as hard as anyone.”  
  
James sighs. Here’s the thing about Clark; he's always believed in James, because that's what he does. He shines light on people. And James appreciates it more than he can say, but he doesn't think Clark ever fully realised that his light also casts a pretty big shadow. He remembers, when he was first nominated for the Pulitzer, staring at his own picture and knowing that he’d taken it; yet feeling strangely detached, looking at something that felt so much bigger than him. _Superman_ , larger than life.  
  
And Cat Grant may not be a superhero, but she casts a pretty big shadow, too.  
  
What he says instead of all this is: “I just don’t know if I’m ready.”  
  
“Trust me. You were meant for this.”  
  
The thing is, James wishes he could believe that. He really does.  
  
…  
  
  
Kara hates goodbyes.  
  
Watching her cousin leave, she feels like a child again, watching her home grow smaller and smaller as she was whisked away. She’d tried to close her eyes, she remembers. Tried to remember Krypton as it was: full of life and culture and her _family_. Whole. But she’d opened her eyes at the last minute, unable to look away as her entire planet disintegrated like a paper towel.  
  
From the moment that had happened, right until she landed on Earth, her world had shrunk down to these things: the pod that encased her. Her resolve, to do what she was sent to do- protect Kal-El. And her loneliness.  
  
That loneliness had only begun to dissipate when the lid of her pod had opened and she’d seen Kal standing over her, the symbol of the House of El emblazoned on his chest. And now he’s disappearing, smaller and smaller, as well.  
  
_Kaoshuh_ , she reminds herself. _To be continued._  
  
This isn’t the end. Not this time.  
  
She feels a light pressure on her shoulder, and startles to find James’ hand resting there. Taking a deep breath, she leans into him. James. She has James, and Winn, and J’onn, and _Alex_. Her family. She arrived here alone, but she’s not alone anymore.  
  
Her phone bleeps. Incoming message: _I miss you already._  
  
She breathes out. Smiles. _I miss you too._  
  
James squeezes her shoulder again. “Pizza and a movie tonight?”  
  
She nods. “I’ll meet you after work. I just… have some things to take care of first.”  
  
“Yeah.” He looks thoughtful. “Me, too.”  
  
Once more. Breathe in. Breathe out. Then she takes off flying, renewed in her resolve.  
  
She’s not done with her goodbyes just yet.  
  
…  
  
She swallows her anxiety as she leaves Cat and changes back into her civilian clothes. _To be continued. I’ll be back._  
  
Everything will be-  
  
Wait. Why is James carrying a box of his things?  
  
“What’s going on?” She tries to prevent the panic in her voice. Not him, he can’t leave too. Why would he-?  
  
“New beginnings.” He’s smiling, that’s a good sign, right?  
  
“Where are you going?” _Breathe_ , Kara.  
  
“Not far.” _Oh, thank Rao._ “I’m the new Cat. Well- not the new Cat, I. She gave me her job while she’s away.”  
  
Her worry fades and is replaced with swelling pride. “Wow!”  
  
“Yeah, it’s a big step up, right?” Something uncertain flickers in his gaze for a moment, but it’s gone as quickly as it appears and he adds, “and I can talk to Snapper for you, if you want me to.”  
  
She wishes she could accept. But she feels more determined than ever to rely only on herself. “I appreciate that, but I’m gonna have to make my own luck on that one.”  
  
He smiles at her. She smiles back.  
  
“Congrats. _Boss_.”  
  
(She means it to be lighthearted, joking, but the title falls too heavy in the air between them.)


	3. Two

James grits his teeth as Snapper starts handing out assignments. Not even an hour into his first day as boss and he’s already being undermined. As far as first impressions go, things couldn’t get much worse.  
  
He finally manages to interject into Snapper’s tirade (“as for the POTUS interview…”)  
  
“Danvers is on that.”   
  
That doesn’t go over well with Snapper. “Danvers is a rookie, we need someone hard hitting.”  
  
“Believe me. She’s hard hitting,” he bites back, feeling strangely defensive.  
  
Kara makes to pipe up in agreement, but the steamrollering continues, “isn’t that a conflict of interest, Olsen? Parker, you get POTUS. Danvers, you get Lena Luthor…”  
  
The knot in James’ shoulders tightens. He knows what Snapper’s implying, and he doesn’t like it. His relationship with Kara is the thing which makes him happiest right now; he hates that Snapper feels like he can use it to disrespect the authority he’s supposed to have earned.   
  
More than that, he hates that Snapper’s words sow a seed a doubt in his mind where confidence has already struggled to grow.  
  
He tries to catch Kara’s eye, but she’s focused determinedly on Snapper as he finishes giving her assignment. Deciding not to draw any more attention to them, he forces his gaze away. But not before noticing she looks somewhat more fidgety than usual.  
  
He waits until the room has cleared before he speaks again: “Kara…”  
  
She straightens suddenly; sets her shoulders. “Sorry…I’ve gotta go.” Is her voice unnaturally high? But her eyes brighten when she adds, “Supergirl’s meeting the president. No biggie,” and he can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm.   
  
Still, he deflates as she leaves him to the empty room. Well, he was wrong. Things definitely got a lot worse.  
  
….  
  
Exiting Snapper’s office, Kara spots James and heads gratefully towards him. His steady support is just what she needs right now to soothe her irritation. “Now I know why they call him Snapper!” She huffs. “Sometimes I really miss Ms Grant.”  
  
It only takes her a nanosecond and James’ self deprecating exhale for her to realise the implications of that statement. She rushes to correct herself. “I- I didn’t mean… I’m sorry, James.”  
  
“No, I get it, I miss her too. I mean, Ms Grant would’ve never let that arrogant, fast talking little…man hijack her meeting…”  
  
He hasn’t brought up the events of that meeting yet, and neither has she. The reminder brings her back to the flash of vulnerability she’d felt at that moment; and even more than that, to the weight of James’ gaze upon her as she had struggled to breeze past it. She couldn’t meet his eye then, but she does now: finding a precariousness there which breaks her heart.  
  
“…she would’ve destroyed him with one withering gaze, but how does she even do that?”  
  
“James!” she interrupts, drawing them to a halt, “James, she picked _you_. Do you think Cat Grant would’ve handed over her entire company to someone she didn’t truly believe in?” She momentarily forgets to feel angry at Snapper on her own behalf. Instead, her anger redirects, becoming incredulity at the idea that James Olsen could be anything less than brilliant. “Don’t be the boss Cat was, be the boss you wanna be- that’s why she put you in charge. To do things your own way.”  
  
He looks at her, then, in that way he has that makes her cheeks heat and her insides tremble. Considering her; eyes soft and even a touch disbelieving. “Thanks, Kara.”   
  
She ducks her head, “always.”  
  
In that moment it’s easy to feel like everything will ok- for both of them- but as they separate ways Kara feels anxiety edge back into her nerve endings.   
  
….  
  
“Hey, how’s your article coming?” asks Winn.  
  
“Awful,” she grumbles. She’s rewritten her current sentence about ten times, but every time it seems to turn out _more_ opinionated. A headache is forming, and she channels it into a fresh flurry of indignant typing.  
  
She doesn’t realise she’s become carried away again until Winn chimes in with, “oh, um- there’s no ‘k’ in diabolical”.  
  
She throws up her hands in frustration. “I don’t know how to stay emotionally neutral when I am writing something I’m passionate about!” Her voice rises in her exasperation. She attempts (somewhat unsuccessfully) to even her tone. “I have _passion_ , Winn. A lot of it!”  
  
Winn’s tone is placating, “yeah, passion is great… for being a superhero.”  
  
“But not for being a reporter?” _Rao_ , she’d wanted to be a reporter to do good, but the rules are so different from when she’s Supergirl. If only she could work out how to channel her heroism into reporting, like-  
  
“Maybe you should ask James? He knows about this stuff.”  
  
She flinches. “No, no. It’s fine, I’ll just-“   
  
Alex strides towards them at that moment, saving Kara from finishing a sentence she hadn’t known the end to.   
  
…  
  
“What I want is a newsroom governed by respect. You stay out of my lane, I’ll stay out of yours.”  
  
James can see the resignation enter Snapper’s face as he concedes, “fair enough.”  
  
Feeling significantly lighter, he lets out a breath and watches Snapper leave. Kara’s grinning at him- “nicely done!”- and he continues the meeting with his head held a little higher.  
  
Afterwards, Kara waits behind for him.   
  
“See?” she tells him, “I knew you had it in you.”  
  
“Yeah, well, I couldn’t have done it without you.”  
  
She makes a modest little _pssh_ sound, but he means it. Like her cousin, she bolsters his confidence with her belief in him. But unlike Clark, she somehow never manages to make him feel like that belief is something he needs to live up to. She _gets_ it- how heavy it can sometimes feel to carry around all these expectations.   
  
So she says something like _be the boss_ you _wanna be_ , and he feels like he can step out of other people’s shadows, for once.  
  
He crosses around his desk to kiss her, quickly. _Thank you_ , he tries to put into it, and _you’re amazing._  
  
The smile in her eyes is genuine as she returns the kiss, but then she falters a little, and he _knows_ before she says it: “we should talk.”  
  
…  
  
As soon as they enter her apartment, she makes a beeline for the couch- sighing as she folds her legs underneath her.  
  
James follows suit. He sits a little further away than necessary, maybe.  
  
She opens her mouth, “I…” but finds herself coming up short. Tries again, “listen…”  
  
“Look, I know what this is about,” James supplies.  
  
Grateful, she pushes past another false start and comes up with, “Look, when we started this thing between us, I didn’t even think of work as an issue. But now… everything’s different.”  
  
“Because I’m your boss now.”  
  
“I mean-“ she throws up her hands in resignation, “yeah.”  
  
He watches her, face unreadable. “What do you wanna do?”  
  
“I don’t know,” she says, turning her face towards the ceiling.   
  
Out of the corner of her eye, she can see his gaze still on her as he tries to keep his face impartial. She knows, somehow, that if she called this off right now he would accept it. He would respect her wishes without question, because that’s the kind of guy he is. It’s one of the reasons why she-  
  
Why ending it doesn’t seem like an option.   
  
“I just feel like we- like we need some boundaries, maybe.”  
  
He nods. “Like what? No acting like a couple at work?”  
  
“It’s probably best. And.. maybe we shouldn’t talk about work, after hours? Just a clean break between personal and work lives.” She says it more confidently than she feels.  
  
Picking up on her hesitance, he reaches for her hand. “Clean break it is. No reporter talk whatsoever.”   
  
She relaxes, just a little. “It’ll be ok, right?”  
  
“Absolutely.”   
  
She chews on the fingernail of her free hand. James shifts beside her.  
  
“C’mere,” he says suddenly, and she relaxes gratefully into his arms.  
  
 _It’ll be ok._


	4. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the slow update! I've had a lot going on so I kind of took an unplanned hiatus. Hopefully I'll update more regularly from now on (though I am on holiday at the moment so we'll have to see how it goes). Either way I'll try and let you know if there's any more delays.
> 
> Also, thanks to everyone who’s commented/left kudos so far! I know I don’t usually get to replying to comments individually but they’re much appreciated, especially those of you who’ve been commenting every chapter! You can also come talk to me at my tumblr (jeyneofhousewesterling)!

Kara groans as she’s woken by the sound of James’ alarm clock. She’s never been much of a morning person; somewhat inexplicably, given that by all rights she shouldn’t need nearly as much sleep as a human. Only the smell of bacon from the kitchen is enough to tempt her out of hitting snooze. She shuts off the alarm clock, careful not to break it after the _incident_ with the last one (James had waved off her apologies, but she still feels bad about it), and slips into the shirt he’s left out for her on his desk chair.  
  
James is already getting ready to leave by the time she makes her way to his living room, coffee in hand (having quickly demolished the food).  
  
“How is it you always manage to be up before me?”  
  
He grins. “Not all of us have super speed to make sure we get to work on time.”  
  
Impulsively, she thinks of offering him a ride, but thinks better of it. “Hey, you’re the boss. I think you can get away with being a little late.”  
  
His only response is to shake his head and reach out to give her a kiss goodbye. “I’ll see you at work.”  
  
“Yeah,” she murmurs as he heads out the door, “see you.”  
  
…  
  
James slumps in his office chair, massaging his temple. He’s in the process of finalising tomorrow’s headlines, and it’s giving him a headache.  
  
He’s struck, not for the first time, with how disheartening the news can be.  
  
Perhaps it shouldn’t surprise him anymore. In his years as a photojournalist he’s witnessed plenty of bad things as well as good. But seeing it all laid out in front of him like a highlight reel of misery is enough to make anyone feel overwhelmed. He doesn’t know how Cat does it.  
  
He remembers his first day at the Daily Planet. He’d been so motivated, so determined to make a difference. Even on his worst days, he’d felt that drive to make things better for someone else. To spread hope.  
  
On days like these, he looks at the headlines and wonders if that’s what he’s doing.  
  
He’d once told Maxwell Lord: _we’re here to tell the truth_. And he stands by that. He’s proud of all the work he’s done over the years. The only problem is- the truth hurts. And James has always wanted to help, not hurt. That’s easy enough to do when he’s breaking a story about Superman, or Supergirl (he smiles despite himself). But some days… it’s hard to leave it at that. Some days he feels like he should be doing more.  
  
Clark would tell him _you’re doing great, Jimmy._ Lois would tell him _chin up, Olsen, we have work to do._  
  
Kara would tell him…. he doesn’t know what Kara would tell him.  
  
Sighing, he refocuses his attention on the headlines in front of him. He’s going to be here a while.  
  
….  
  
Kara hesitates around the corner from James’ office. For once, she’s been let off for an early lunch break (“only because it’s a quiet day, ponytail,” Snapper had said) and her first thought had been to see if James was free for lunch.  
  
But in that moment of hesitation, she thinks of the glass walls in James’ office, and the fact that everyone can see through them, x-ray vision or not.  
  
In that moment, she feels enclosed by her own rules.  
  
_This is stupid_ , she thinks, and continues towards the office. They’re allowed to have _lunch_ , for Rao’s sake.  
  
James looks deep in thought as she peeks around the doorway; his brow is furrowed, his shoulders hunched forward. She notices how tired his eyes look; had they looked like that when he’d left her this morning?  
  
“Hey,” she says, and he startles a little.  
  
His mouth quirks, just slightly, “hey.”  
  
“Everything ok?”  
  
Maybe if she didn’t have superpowers (or if she didn’t know him so well) she wouldn’t have noticed the wavering in his voice as he says, “everything’s fine.”  
  
She wants to say _are you sure?_   Wants to say _I can tell you’re lying._ Wants to say _talk to me, please._  
   
She settles on, “got time for lunch?”  
  
He looks resigned. “I wish I could. I just… I have a lot to do.”  
  
It shouldn’t be surprising, but her heart sinks anyway. “Of course. I understand.”  
  
“Kara, I’m…”  
  
“Don’t worry about it!” the words leave her too quickly, and she plasters on a casual smile to make up for it. “I’ll see you tonight?”  
  
“Absolutely.”  
  
She shifts in place. Surely she could stay here while he works, keep him company?  
  
But she remembers the glass walls, and turns to leave.  
  
….  
  
  
Kara visits her mother’s hologram whenever she can, at least once a week, but today she’s thinking about what J’onn said. About finding someone who was like him. Who could connect with him.  
  
She could really use that right now.  
  
There’s Clark, of course, on the other end of an internet chat. He’d probably have more useful advice, when it comes to reporting. But- he doesn’t remember Krypton. Doesn’t hear the echoes of Kryptonese the way she does, or pronounce it with the same ease that can only come from speaking your mother tongue. Doesn’t remember the feel of the red sun against his skin. The mesmerising, sprawling landscapes full of colours humans couldn’t dare to imagine. Doesn’t feel how _wrong_ things on Earth seem, some days.  
  
Besides, she was supposed to look after _him_ , not the other way around. And with the way her week is going, she doesn’t want someone to give her professional advice. She just really, really wants someone to look after her.  
  
She just wants her mother.  
  
And as the hologram in front of her tells her to, “remember to always believe in yourself, my daughter,” she wishes more than anything that the words could give her comfort. But they just make her miss her mother’s touch more than ever.  
  
She hears movement behind her and startles out of her reverie; feeling her fragile grasp on familiarity give way, like water slipping through her palms.  
  
…  
  
By the time Kara’s finally happy enough with her article to hit _save_ , the stillness of night has crept into the bedroom. James’ heartbeat thrums soft as a lullaby beside her, and moonlight ghosts over her surroundings through a crack in the curtains.  
  
It had been early evening when she’d started. James had crinkled his brow when she’d begged off dessert to work, but relaxed into a fond smile when she’d grabbed a tub of ice cream on her way out of the room. She’d sat down to work with a fervour worthy of her _girl of steel_ title; but now, on the tail end, she finds herself slumping onto her pillows.  
  
A sense of pride swells through her, but it’s distant, quieted by the cover of darkness.  
  
Tomorrow, she’ll present her article to Snapper. She hopes to prove something to him- to herself. She’ll watch his immovable frown in hopes of identifying some validation there; and she’ll wish she was presenting her efforts to Cat Grant: who, however sharp her tongue may be, Kara has at least learned to read.  
  
For now, though, she lies back on the mattress, and listens to James’ breathing, and tries to sleep.  
  
(It would be so easy to coax him awake. A gentle touch on the shoulder.  
  
She turns to face the wall.)  
  
…  
  
Cat should reconsider the amount of glass surrounding her office.  
  
Perhaps, James thinks, as he shields his eyes from the persistent late afternoon sun, this is a sign he should go home early. But he wants to get Monday’s lineup sorted before the weekend. He’s had enough of this week without it seeping into his free time any more than it has to.  
  
So he ploughs on, and by the time Ms Teschmacher enters with his tea, the sun has lowered out of his immediate range of sight.  
  
“Thanks,” he acknowledges, before returning to the stack of articles in front of him.  
  
A byline catches his eye: _Kara Danvers._  
  
He picks it up and begins to read, scanning the page with an invigorated interest. A smile creeps onto his face as he reads. She hasn’t quite found her own voice yet, and the influence of Snapper’s notes is obvious. Still, he can feel a hint of her character woven into it. Her potential is clear to see.  
  
When he’s done, he finds himself feeling lighter than he has all week. He resumes the rest of his work with a new energy.  
  
 Nevertheless, the sun is setting by the time he wraps up. Friday means everyone’s gone home already (he’d dismissed Ms Teschmacher an hour or two ago) so he takes the time to switch all the lights off and lock up.  
  
Kara’s waiting up for him when he gets to her apartment. He sighs as he takes his spot next to her on the couch.  
  
Leaning her head against his shoulder, she says, “I’m guessing you had a long week too?”  
  
_Like you wouldn’t believe._ “Better now I’m with you.”  
  
She beams at him.  
  
“You wanna tell me about yours?”  
  
He feels her shake her head against him. “Just this alien fight club. All in a day’s work for Supergirl,” she chuckles wearily.  
  
_I read your article. It was really good. I’m proud of you._  
  
“Just another day in National City,” he agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I accidentally took a hard stance against glass walls in this chapter. Oops. Also, not a lot of James POV in this chapter but there’ll be more in the next one!
> 
>  
> 
> (Kara’s memories of Krypton are based on facts from the Superman wiki)


	5. Four

  
“James!”  
  
For once, Kara had been up first this morning: heading to the DEO before work so she could begin coaching the new guy. It means she was gone before James woke, and his face is a welcome sight now.  
  
She’d scarcely talked to him last night either- he’d been working on his laptop until late; face set in determination as though he had something to prove. So once the introductions have been made and he mentions heading out for coffee (not tea, she notices; he must still be tired), it’s all too tempting to jump at the opportunity.  
  
Still, she hedges the question carefully: “Is it alright if I come with you?”  
  
But he replies easily, “of course.”  
  
They walk in comfortable silence, punctuated by small talk; it’s nice, to be out of the office. Kara’s been stressed all morning about settling ‘Mike’ into his first day of work. She needs the fresh air (both literally and figuratively).  
  
It’s nice to be with James for more than a fleeting morning or burnt-out, exhausted evening, too.  
  
The subject turns to her protege. Admittedly, Kara is worried, but as she tells James, “he has me to guide him. He’ll be earthling in no time, way faster than I was.”  
  
She remembers how afraid she’d been; the first day of school, feeling so out of place and disoriented by the smells and the sounds and the fact that every single person seemed to know something she didn’t. Alex had helped as best she could, of course. But she’d been so young as well. It was overwhelming for the both of them.  
  
She’ll make it better for the new guy, she swears to herself. She can’t teach him about Krypton, but she can teach him about Earth.  
  
The car takes her by surprise, even with her enhanced instincts. Panicked, she spreads her arms to shield James, and feels him stiffen in turn behind her, reaching out instinctively before he remembers it can’t hurt her.  
  
Once the shock wears off, it’s replaced with a confidence she’s become accustomed to, and with a self-assured, “Right in front of Supergirl? I almost feel sorry for them,” she takes off running.    
  
…  
  
James should be used to run-ins with criminals by now. Still, he watches tensely as Kara approaches the bank robbers, scanning the area for any vulnerable civilians.  
  
He’s about to start clearing the area when it all goes horribly wrong.  
  
Watching as Kara is forcefully thrown back by- _whatever_ weapon the man is holding- he feels the senseless urge to throw himself between the two. Instead, he goes for the accomplice, aiming a swift kick at his face. Hand-to-hand he can do, and he knocks the guy to the ground without too much difficulty; but he’s caught off guard as he’s tripped and crashes, barely avoiding hitting his face.  
  
 The next few moments pass by in a blur. Numbly, he feels a foot collide with his face, keeping him from getting back up. And then the guy is running, running, and driving away, and-  
  
He reaches out in vain, desperate, but it’s no use. His dad’s camera, obliterated. Gone.  
  
It hits him as though the car had crushed him instead, and he sees red; frenzied, desperate to feel anything but crushing hopelessness. He stares at the retreating car and feels a sinking in his gut, just like when he was a kid and his mother had sat him down with tears in her eyes to tell him _dad isn’t coming home_.  
  
Kara approaches, and he’s distantly aware of her reaching for him as she asks, “James! Are you okay?”  
  
He grits his teeth, and reassures her, “yeah.”  
  
….  
  
Kara is frustrated.  
  
Frustrated because she’s witnessing the very chaos and distrust she _knows_ Cadmus wants, playing out right in front of her; and there’s very little she can do about it. At least, not without revealing too much. Because it’s not that she can’t keep secrets (she _can_ , thank you very much, Alex), but that she doesn’t want to. Not when it comes to things like this.  
  
As James calls an end to the meeting, he catches her eye, signalling her to wait up for him. She shakes off the guilty feeling that tells her she shouldn’t be talking to him like this, not here, and follows him out of his office. “James, I don’t know what to do- these weapons are far more advanced than anything we had on Krypton.” It’s rare to feel out of your depth when you’re a superpowered alien, but right now… “Cadmus doesn’t care who gets hurt in trying to make sure all aliens get a bad name.”  
  
“Yeah, well, I’m sure you and the DEO will figure something out.”  
  
She stops, taken aback by his tone. “Don’t sound so defeatist or anything.” Is he ok? Normally James is so strong, so adamant in his optimism.  
  
“Sorry, I just… I just don’t feel like there’s a lot I can do from behind Cat’s desk.”  
  
It’s been almost a month since he took the job, but he still calls it _Cat’s desk_ instead of _my desk_.  
  
“You help,” she insists, and resists the urge to reach for him.  
  
He looks weary, “I couldn’t even save my dad’s camera.”  
  
Her heart breaks for him, then. He doesn’t deserve this; she wishes she knew how to make him feel better. But she can’t bring his dad’s camera back, or bring his dad back, and she can’t wipe that look off his face, and-  
  
-and why is Eve Teschmacher carrying all those files?  
  
….  
  
  
James drums his fingers against the desk. The nearer the evening draws, the more he keeps thinking about his conversation with Winn. His visit to the DEO had been impulsive; by all rights he should have talked himself out of his plan by now. But he’s only grown more restless, more determined.  
  
He should drop this. He should stay here in the office, and work late on another article, and find another way to channel his frustration.  
  
Glancing at his article, still open on the computer screen, he replays the statistics in his mind. _63%…support repealing the Alien Amnesty Act._ His own headline mocks him, redundant.  
  
He grabs the ski mask and baseball bat from where he’s stashed them in a desk drawer, and heads out into the night.  
  
The rush of fresh air that greets him is crisp and cool. He tugs his jacket tighter around him as he hurries to his destination. There are police sirens in the distance, maybe heading out for the same reason he his, but he knows from Winn’s intel they won’t be at the federal reserve. Neither will the DEO. Or Supergirl.  
  
Once he arrives, he cases the outside of the building, then settles down to wait. It’s quiet, almost eerily so. He almost wonders whether he should turn back; the doubts and nerves finally beginning to creep in. But if he strains, he can hear the chatter of life inside the building, and it makes him stand straighter. There are people he needs to protect.  
  
For all his alertness, their arrival is sudden. He springs to action- chaos is already erupting around the attack.  
  
He goes for the assailants first, aiming his baseball bat and trying very hard not to think about what he’s seen those guns do. It goes about as well as expected; he goes on the defensive as the criminals focus their attention on him.  
  
But only for a moment.  
  
James’ stomach plunges as the gang’s leader aims his gun at the building. Then, with a snide “have fun!”, they’re off. He changes tactics; focuses his attention instead on the victims who are currently fleeing from within the crumbling walls. He spurs them on as best he can until he can no longer outrun the impact. The fall knocks the wind out of him and jars his ribcage sharply.  
  
It’s only the adrenaline that has him back on his feet and running, though he knows the pursuit is in vain: the culprits are long gone.  
  
….

  
Rather than unnerving him, last night’s attack has renewed James’ conviction. When Winn appears in his office to confront him, he’s fortified by the thought of the people in that building. They, at least, are safe because of him.  
  
Winn’s almost immediately on the offensive: “all I see is a crazy dude with a baseball bat and a ski mask and a death wish!”  
  
His only chance of defence is honesty. “My whole life, I’ve been a sidekick,” the admission feels long awaited, “I have hidden behind my camera while my best friends wear capes, and they're heroes, and they save people.” He doesn't know how else to explain it; about shadows and broken cameras and failed articles and that feeling of powerlessness when he (or worse, someone he cares about) is in the line of fire. But he pours his heart out as best he can; willing Winn to please, understand.  
  
Winn’s not having it, though. Not even when James appeals to him for help (it seems so natural, that they should team up. “Even the playing field,” as he says). Winn’s so focused on whether or not he has _superpowers_ , and James is so, so tired of using that as an excuse.  
  
He stands his ground. “I’m gonna continue to be that crazy guy- with the baseball bat and the ski mask. With or without you.”  
  
“James.” Winn looks at him with pleading eyes, “Guys like us, we are here to give people information, right? To fight with knowledge. There’s no shame in that, man!”  
  
God, he knows that. It’s what spurred him towards this career in the first place. But the idea has started to lose its shine; the only time anything he does seems to resonate is when he’s reporting on someone else’s heroism.  
  
He’s made his choice.  
  
….  
  
Kara gets ready for the party, and thinks about what Alex said.  
  
She’d wanted so badly to be a mentor like she was always supposed to be, but this week has been a painful reminder that she has no idea how to do that. It’s fitting, in a way, that Alex was the one to help her; she more than anyone knows that Kara arrived on Earth not as a protector, but as a scared little girl.  
  
It’s her greatest failure: of herself, of her cousin, of the house of El. No matter how much good she does as Supergirl, she can’t seem to wipe it out.  
  
And that’s the thing about their Daxamite visitor. More than the laziness and the sexism and the generally distasteful personality traits, she can’t help but resent him for not wanting to be a hero. She doesn’t _understand_ it; he has this chance, why won’t he take it?  
  
Alex is right, though. There’s nothing she can do to force this; no matter how badly she wants the second chance. That opportunity is gone, and she has a new mission now. She should accept it- she can’t make him a hero. He has to choose that himself, like she did.  
  
….  
  
He’s just texted Kara ( _Working late again. See you tomorrow xxx_ ) when Winn enters his office.  
  
 “I used to be so terrified to walk in here,” he says.  
  
James gets that. “Me too.” He’s known Cat Grant since their Daily Planet days, and while he may have grown out of being the scared intern, she is no less intimidating now than she was then. And when he’d walked into this room as _his office_ for the first time- that had been even more terrifying.  
  
Winn pauses a moment, then, “you’re really not gonna stop, are you?”  
  
“Nope.” He says it with the conviction that he’s been missing for so long.  
  
He’s not sure what he expects in response, so when Winn agrees- “I will help you,” James finds himself breathing a sigh of relief. The loneliness he’s been feeling disperses like a lifting fog; finally, he has someone by his side. Maybe that’s what he’s been waiting for- a hand to hold as he dives into murky waters.  
  
Winn’s newly found enthusiasm makes it easy to relax into excited planning with him. Fear and uncertainty begin to shift into a thrill, a sense of adventure.  
  
Still, when Winn presses for his superhero name, he doesn’t feel ready to give it. That reveal should have weight to it; the right time and place.  
  
“When we’re ready…. everybody’s gonna know it.”


	6. Five

James has been unusually restless the past few days.  
  
At first, Kara had chalked it up to stress at work. Or jitters from a larger-than-usual amount of coffee; he has been known to substitute it for sleep when he’s running on a deadline.  
  
But she hasn’t noticed any dramatic changes in his caffeine intake lately. In fact, he’d left a mug of tea nearly untouched yesterday. She’d found it sitting cold on his kitchen counter and puzzled at his out of character absentmindedness.  
  
When she’d voiced her concerns, though, he’d brushed it off with an “I’m fine, really.” She’s trying to believe him, but…  
  
He’d talk to her if something was wrong, wouldn’t he? If someone had asked her a month ago she would have said _yes_ without hesitating; now she’s not so sure.  
  
She’s startled out of her reverie when M’gann sets a drink down in front of her.  
  
Apparently, her Daxamite companion is quite popular amongst the bar’s patrons. Kara rolls her eyes- don’t they have taste?- but takes the opportunity to refocus her attention. After all, she’d come to the bar tonight with a mission in mind. She may have resolved to loosen the reigns a little when it comes to her mentorship, but that doesn’t mean she’s giving up entirely.  
  
Still, he’s making it very difficult.  
  
“At least let me train you. You have all these powers and you’re not learning how to control them.”  
  
The glass shattering only proves her point. She resists the urge to massage her temple.  
  
“I’ll make a trade with you.” Of course; he _would_ be obnoxious about this, “You drink this drink, and I will train with you.”  
  
“I don’t think-,” she protests… then considers.  
  
Staring ponderously at the drink, she thinks again of James, dodging her worry with a grin that wasn’t as easy as he wanted it to appear.  
  
“Deal,” she says, and downs it in one.  
  
…  
  
Kara looks so small, lying there unconscious. Gaunt and ghostly. Like she could shatter at the slightest touch.  
  
This protectiveness- it’s not a feeling James should be familiar with, dating the girl of steel.  
  
That’s the problem, though. Having a girlfriend who’s virtually invulnerable should be reassuring; but it just makes it that much more jarring when, despite all odds, she does get hurt. He thinks back to earlier, when word of the first attack had reached him:  
  
_“Kara, are you alright?” James couldn’t help the panic edging into his tone as he burst into the DEO._  
  
_She’d tried to reassure him, “I’m fine,” but the words rang hollow, and he’d seen her flinch as she tried to stand._  
  
_Her obvious lie had hurt almost as much as the shock of seeing her injured._  
  
_“I wanna help,” he’d said, jaw set in determination._  
  
_But Kara had brushed him off, and limped away, and he’d felt so_ useless _again._  
  
Then Alex’s questions had come, challenging his source of intel- just another reminder that he didn’t belong here. And Winn had dragged him away, indignant; and James, taut as a bowstring, had snapped.  
  
_“Kara almost died, Winn!”_  
  
And now she’s lying on a medical bed, fighting for her life.  
  
 (For all Alex’s reassurances that she’ll pull through, he can’t help the screaming echoing through every pore in his body at the sight of her lifeless one. He doesn’t press, though, knowing Alex must be feeling the same.)  
  
“Hey, you,” he murmurs as he approaches her. He feels the urge to reach for her, tenderly stroke her hair. But at the same time he feels trapped where he sits.  
  
Her stillness is so terribly disquieting.  
  
Contrite at his earlier outburst, he takes care to soften his voice as he turns to Winn, “we can’t wait any longer.”  
  
…  
  
Kara’s still riled up, filled with adrenaline from the fight; but even while her heart reverberates like fading thunder, her focus gravitates towards the mysterious newcomer.    
  
The cliche flits across her mind: tall, dark and handsome. It’s ridiculous, really. She has no idea what he looks like; his face is completely hidden. But the way he stands shrouded in the shadows leaves the mystery almost palpable.  
  
And… he _is_ tall.  
  
Blinking hard, she attempts to pull herself together and aims her X-ray vision at his helmet. It’s curiosity, nothing more. Of course.  
  
But her search reveals nothing, and she feels a spark of…irritation?  
  
“Lead?” she raises her eyebrows.  
  
For someone whose face is obscured, he gives the distinct impression that he’s _smirking_. “Can’t make it too easy for you.”  
  
Her heart flickers. _Just the adrenaline fading._  
  
“Who are you?”  
  
“A friend. You can call me… Guardian.”  
  
(She definitely doesn’t stare as he rides away. Not a bit.)  
  
….  
  
James can’t stop replaying the fight in his mind.  
  
The initial pride, tempered with nerves, as he donned the suit for the first time; the growing panic as his opponent came into view; the heart stopping moment when he wondered whether Winn’s gadgets would work, and the relief and euphoria when they did.  
  
Most of all, though, he keeps going back to Kara. He can’t stop thinking about her expression as she regarded him in his disguise. Achingly familiar but completely foreign at the same time.  
  
_You can call me Guardian_ , he’d told her. After mulling the name over in his mind for days, he’d known it was the right time when he’d seen the look in her eyes. Like she was seeing him. _This_ him. And just like that, it had felt real.  
  
Guardian is who he is now.  
  
When Winn approaches, he’s only half aware of it- still glued to the screens. Winn, for his part, seems equally entranced as he seats himself beside James.  
  
They haven’t spoken properly since before the fight, and the weight of it begins to settle as they sit together, reliving it.  
  
Winn says, “you wanna keep doing this, don’t you?” and James knows before he confirms it; they’re on the same page.  
  
“So do you.”  
  
The silence that follows this revelation is a comfortable one. James is grateful for that; he’s become far too used to uncomfortable silences.  
  
Eventually, though, the elephant in the room needs to be addressed. Winn is the one to bring it up- “Are you sure you don’t want to tell Kara?”  
   
James huffs. Deep down, he thinks: _I probably should._  
  
Winn seems to agree. “Dude, lying to your girlfriend is literally _never_ a good idea.”  
  
He shifts guiltily in his seat. “Look, if Kara finds out about this, she’ll get freaked out and try to stop us. You know she will.”  
  
“Yeah, but-”  
  
“Do you want her to kick our asses?”  
  
“Well, no,” he concedes.  
  
“So you can see why this is best kept between us?”  
  
Winn still looks hesitant.  
  
“Just for a little while. Until we prove ourselves. Then maybe when we do tell her, we’ll have a defence. She’ll have to see that we can do this.”  
  
(Of course, there’s another reason he doesn’t want to tell her, but he’s not mentioning that to Winn.)  
  
He watches Winn consider with bated breath. Then-  
  
“Fine.”  
  
Breathing out, he shoots Winn a grateful half smile; and wishes it were that easy to dispel his own guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUPERGUARDIAN RISE


	7. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another slow update!
> 
> Just to forewarn you, there's brief allusions to police brutality in this chapter (nothing happens but James is rightfully afraid of cops).

Kara smiles as James settles down next to her with his drink. It’s nice, to have him here; a refreshing break from their social isolation (imposed and….otherwise). The alien bar is the closest she can get to feeling at home, and she wants James to be a part of that.  
  
Her smile stutters and fades as the TV overhead shows footage of Guardian.  
  
“The new guy. Of course.”  
  
Ever since their first meeting, Kara has been on edge about National City’s newest vigilante; much to the bewilderment of her friends.  
  
“Guardian? I thought he- I thought you said he helped you?”  
  
Only half paying attention, she dismisses the unease in James’ tone in favour of sending suspicious eyes at the masked man on screen. “He did-”  
  
“But?”  
  
“But, I don’t know, I don’t think the city should be putting its trust in him so quickly.” Her instincts are telling her _something_ about him; if the lurch in her gut whenever he’s mentioned is anything to go by. Why doesn’t the rest of the city share her apprehension?  
  
James seems to agree with the popular opinion, though. She supposes it’s not that surprising that he jumps to Guardian’s defence with rumours of his prowess- after all, he’s spent most of his life admiring heroes.  
  
Still, it irritates her. The fact that Guardian is so… _impressive_ makes her all the more determined to dislike him.  
  
“Maybe _you_ are just afraid of the competition,” is James’ next suggestion.  
  
She sputters, “ _No_. No, no no.” That’s not it at all; there are no other feelings lurking behind her suspicion, not jealousy and not- anything else.  Grasping for her point, she adds, “Alex, you agree with me, right? I mean, masks, the voice changers- it’s weird! It’s weird.”  
  
Alex begins to agree, but the atmosphere changes when someone else’s voice rings out.  
  
“Danvers.”  
  
Kara’s only seen Maggie in passing, but the look on Alex’s face is enough to recognise her by.  Alex scrambles to make introductions, and Kara’s attention shifts; but Guardian remains in the back of her mind.  
  
…  
  
Ever since James made his debut as Guardian, he’s been watching the media reaction with an eager eye. He knows how important it is that the city accepts him.  
  
So far the response has been gratifyingly positive. Though he makes extra effort to keep Catco’s reports unbiased, most of the articles handed in to him have painted Guardian in a good light; the rest of the city’s media seems to agree. He’s even caused some stir beyond National City, if the phone call from Lois (only hours after the first fight) is anything to go by:  
  
“Nice mask, Jimmy, but I know it’s you. I know how you fight.”  
  
Of course she does; it had been Lois who first ambushed him with self defence classes, when it became clear they were both working closely with Superman.  
  
He’d sworn her to secrecy, and despite practically being able to hear her eye roll on the other end of the call, he likes to think he’s made her proud. Clark, too.  
  
But now he stands accused of murder, and everything’s changed.  
  
So he waits for the imposter with a determination that spans even beyond his desire to see justice done. He has to clear his name.  
  
(Kara’s voice echoes in his head, _“I don’t think the city should be putting its trust in him so quickly.”_ )  
  
He shifts in place.  
  
When his criminal targets come into view, he strikes quickly; but he’s barely moved in before _the other guy_ is here. The echo of his gun pulses in James’ eardrums- a deadly symphony.  
  
James stares him down. “Who are you? What are you doing?”  
  
“Keeping our city safe. Just like you.”  
  
James scowls behind his mask. “I don’t kill.”  
  
“Maybe you should.”  
  
The machine gun fires again, and it’s Guardian against the imposter; punches flying with a metallic _clang_. They’re more or less evenly matched, and James is fighting to stay on his feet. He's thrown back-  
  
And then the sirens sound.  
  
The imposter is gone before James can recover; the police cars corner him as he’s scrambling to his feet. He recognises the cop- Maggie, Alex’s friend from the bar- and thinks of staying and trying to explain. But his mother taught him better than to put his life in the hands of police.  
  
So he sets off a smoke bomb, and runs.  
  
…  
  
“NCPD has Guardian pinned down near the wharf; they just called for backup.”  
  
Kara should feel vindicated by the recent turn of events. Instead, she feels betrayed. After all her talk about not trusting Guardian, she hadn’t wanted to be _right_. She thinks back to that first night- _a friend_ , he’d said.  
  
She gulps. “Let’s get this guy once and for all.”  
  
But before she can swoop in and save the day, an unfamiliar sound pierces her eardrums and throws her flight off course. She shudders, senses overstimulated.  
  
A voice cuts through the shrieking- “hello, Kryptonian”- and she doesn’t have to ask.  
  
“Cadmus.”  
  
“Got it in one.” Kara can hear the sirens pass by beneath her as the voice continues. She frowns; how did they access her comms?  
  
“I’m inviting you over,” she rolls her eyes, but, “we already have a guest waiting for you.”  
  
At that, her protective instincts kick in and she diverts her focus entirely towards her unwelcome caller. She steels herself as she listens to Cadmus’ threats, already gearing up for a fight.  
  
_If you tell anyone where you’re headed, he dies. If you refuse to come, he dies._  
  
For a heartbeat, she hesitates; she doesn’t know why, but Guardian is _personal_ for her.  
  
But an innocent life is in danger, and she knows what she has to do.  
  
…  
  
“We have a problem.”  
  
James looks up to see Winn approaching, face somewhat ashen and fidgeting with his hands. He raises a brow, wary.  
  
Winn takes a breath, then stops, then starts again. “I- Alex knows.”  Then clarifies, “she _knows_. About Guardian.”  
  
James resists the urge to swear. Alex knowing has to be on his list of worst case scenarios. Even if she doesn't immediately run to Kara with the news- which is unlikely- she’s terrifying in her own  right and will definitely not be happy.  
  
“But I made her promise not to tell Kara, or anyone, so…”  
  
Sighing, James massages his temple and asks, “how did she find out?”  
  
Winn hesitates, “I… may have told her.”  
  
“Winn!”  
  
“Look, she’s very scary, ok? And besides, if I hadn’t told her she’d still be on the manhunt for Guardian! Everyone thinks you’re a killer, man!”  
  
“Right.” He’ll worry about Alex’s wrath later; right now they have a bad guy to catch.  
  
…  
  
Kara shivers in her cell, and tries to be brave.  
  
Fear is something she’s always tried to run from; she’s experienced her fair share of it, and she hates feeling that vulnerable. Normally it’s easy enough to shove down that sense of powerlessness- having superpowers is a great defence mechanism.  
  
But sitting in this cage, she finds it creeps up on her.  
  
Her breathing is shallow to her own ears. She wonders if she’ll ever get out of this.  
  
Does Alex knows she’s missing yet? Is she out there looking for her? Even if she is- with no notice of where she’s gone and no clues left behind, Kara doesn’t know how long it will take her sister to find her. By the time she does, it might be too late.  
  
They say when you’re about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. Kara keeps getting stuck on her regrets. Her mission to protect Kal-El, her mother and the life she’d envisioned for her, _James_.  
  
Oh, Rao. She’d thought she could have a normal life, a normal relationship, _happiness_. It’s only now, in the lonely darkness, that she can admit it to herself. There’s been a distance between them lately; a chasm she doesn’t know how to cross.  
  
They don’t know how to communicate any more. And now she’ll never have the chance to make it right.  
  
…  
  
James taps into every bit of training he has to push back against the imposter’s- _Philip_ ’s- attacks. This opponent may not have powers, but he’s no joke. At some point James loses his mask; Winn’s voice is frantic on the other end of the comms. He pauses, catching his breath.  
  
Philip approaches his victim, and James snaps back into action.  
  
Doubt worries at his mind as it becomes clear the suit won’t give him an advantage this time. Only the look of terror on the victim’s face, imprinted on James’ consciousness, spurs him to keep fending off Philip’s attacks. Guilty or not, he can’t let anyone die here tonight.  
  
As the fighting reaches a stand off, Philip unmasks, cocking his gun.  
  
James uses the opportunity to try reaching his opponent’s humanity. “Your wife would not want this, Philip. That is your name, isn’t it? Philip Karnowsky?”  
  
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to lose someone you love? It’s like never being able to breathe again.” His voice breaks; James thinks maybe he can get through to him. So he levels with him, shares his own loss with as steady a voice as he can muster.  
  
But in the end, it’s no use. Philip’s attacks resume, and James tries not to feel the sinking sense of failure as he falls back on his fighting skills once more.  
  
It’s not long before the cops approach again.  
  
There’s no opportunity to run this time. He stares down the barrels of the guns pointing at him; shrinks behind his armour and tries to control his breathing. Kara’s face flashes in his mind, her smile bright against the night’s shadowy backdrop.  
  
Spotting Alex, he tries to focus on her face as she glances at her companion- Maggie, again.  
  
“The sirens are getting louder,” Alex says; speaking to Maggie, though James takes it as a warning.  
  
A pause, before, “then he’d better get out of here while he can.”  
  
As his heart stutters in relief, he thinks he spots compassion, understanding in Maggie’s eyes. Nodding gratefully, he makes his escape.  
  
…  
  
“Who’s hungry?”  
  
Kara’s always hungry, but right now she’s more grateful than ever for the delicious-smelling food being brought into her apartment. Even more than that, she’s grateful for the faces that accompany it.  
  
She warms as she watches her friends and family gathering around her. The residual panic filters from her veins at last; she reaches for a slice of pizza and leans into James’ side. The normalcy of home begins to envelope her.  
  
The TV draws her attention as the breaking news on Guardian takes the screen. She finds herself relaxing at the declaration of his innocence even as she feels James’ gaze on her.  
  
“Alright, I admit it, I was wrong about Guardian.” The admission’s not as hard as she thought it would be. “I’m really glad he was there to help you, Alex.”  
  
James doesn’t even _try_ not to look smug. “Well, I hate to say I told you so…”  
  
She scoffs, “no, you love saying I told you so.”  
  
“I do,” he agrees, and she can’t help but laugh. His returning grin is fond and familiar; a sight she never thought she’d see again. She lets herself melt into it.  
  
“I still wanna know who’s under that mask, though.” Ok, so she’s curious. Is that a crime?  
  
Alex’s voice is wry, “Oh, I’m sure he’ll reveal himself soon enough.”


End file.
